Sometimes I wonder... Why do I work so hard for? Why do I put in so much effort? Is all the time and energy invested even worth it? All those nights of staying up, for what? At the end of the day, what kind of results do I expect and get back?
I really think that expectations kill. It's not like I'm not passionate anymore, no.... I just feel it's unfair. Yeah, that's right. Unfair. I put in so much and get back so little.
And I am always so busy, busy, busy. I never have time for myself anymore... School, work, blog, social life, family, relationships.... It's like my to-do list can never be cleared, it's never-ending. Sometimes I do feel crushed under that weight, but still I don't mind, I love helping whenever I can.. But when reality hits, all these things that you were so fueled to do suddenly feels.... Wasted.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. After this I might even have some self-esteem issues -.- That's why I shouldn't have expectations anymore. The disappointment is too much to handle.